How to Create Change in Your Life: From Excuses to Personal Transformation

How Do We Create Change? My Journey From Excuses to Responsibility

Jumping Into the Deep End

When I was three years old, I didn’t know how to swim. That didn’t stop me from jumping straight into the deep end, away from my parents.

A lot has changed since then. I can swim now. I’m also nowhere near as cute as I was at three. But one thing hasn’t changed—I still tend to jump into the deep end of life completely unprepared.

That reckless leap taught me my first lesson about change: sometimes, we don’t wait until we’re ready—we just jump.

Change Is Guaranteed—but Growth Isn’t

There’s an old saying: the only guarantees in life are death and change.

Change happens whether we like it or not. But here’s the real question: ‘Does it have to?'

For much of my life, change happened ‘to me’—not because of me.

The Outcast Years

Most of my life I felt like an outcast. I was always on the outside looking in—even at my own life. Everyone else seemed to have it together. I didn’t.

And when you feel different, people notice. I was picked on, teased, and criticized everywhere I went.

That created a loop of doubt and negative self-talk, reinforced by the voice in my head. Over time, I became jaded, sarcastic, and expert-level at finding fault.

It felt like life had wronged me. So I made it my mission to evangelize the gospel of misery.

The Excuses Grew Flimsy

As I got older, my excuses started to sound pathetic—even to me.

It wasn’t a good look to blame Mom and Dad anymore. After all, I was a grown man.

Like Mel Robbins said: “No one is coming to save you.”

For years, I waited to be rescued. I thought my potential would magically be discovered, and my life would transform like a fairytale. A “poof of magic” without hard work or responsibility.

But reality doesn’t work like that.

The Rock Bottom Choice

I hit an extreme low. And I knew one thing: going out with a bang was not okay with me.

What I had been doing wasn’t working. So what did I have to lose by trying something different?

That was the moment the shift began.

Taking Responsibility

Little by little, I began to change.

I stopped believing life was happening ‘to me’ and started realizing life was happening ‘because of me’.

Every choice I had made—millions of little ones—created my current reality.

One question stood out above the rest:

“Where would I be today if I had started a year ago?”

The Old Me vs. The New Me

The old me would have twisted that question into a wish: “If only I could go back in time…”

But the truth is, we can’t go back. We are always creating the history of our future in the present moment.

Knowing what you want and creating it now—that’s how change is done.

The Carrot, the Stick, and the Donkey

There’s an old analogy about the donkey, the carrot, and the stick.

The donkey (that was me) will keep doing whatever it wants—until something changes. The stick represents pain. The carrot represents reward.

Most of the world is stuck in the middle. Doing just enough to avoid the stick. Chasing the carrot only if it’s easy.

That’s not real change. That’s survival.

The Power of a Deeper Why

People love to say: “You just have to want it enough.”

But that’s not the full truth. Desire without depth fizzles fast.

What really drives change is your deeper why.

If you want something “just because,” it won’t last.

If you want something because it moves you forward in a real and meaningful way, it will.

When you uncover your why, excuses collapse. Obstacles shrink. Change becomes not just possible, but inevitable.

The Ongoing Journey

I wasted years—decades even—wishing for things to change. Now I know the truth:

Wishing doesn’t create change. Choosing does.

Excuses don’t build your future. Action does.

Magic doesn’t transform your life. You do.

Every choice, no matter how small, creates momentum. Each step forward becomes part of the history of your future.

And the best part? You don’t have to wait for permission, the perfect time, or someone to save you.

You just have to start.

Closing: The Question for You

Change is guaranteed. But growth is a choice.

So I’ll leave you with the same question that changed me:

👉 Where will you be a year from now if you start today?

The answer is up to you.